Presente: On the 25th Anniversary of the UCA Martyrs

November 16, 2014: Today marks 25 years since the massacre of the martyrs at the UCA.

It is also a day marked by remembrance and action in the Ignatian Family.  6 years ago, at the Ignatian Family Teach-in in Fort Benning, Georgia, I delivered a talk on how this event in a different country years ago still has an important connection to us today.  I thought I would share it in this forum today, as a way of marking this anniversary.

"Vocations for Justice"

“You’re Catholic and you’re a woman?”

 “You know it.”

“And you’re preparing for ministry in the Church?”

“Precisely.”

I cannot tell you the number of times I have had this conversation.  Everyone from the stranger next to me on the airplane to my mother has asked me these questions.  Sometimes I wonder if they think that I somehow didn’t notice that I was a woman. 

Now I realize that lay ministry in the Church isn’t something with which everyone is familiar.  I know that the fact that I am in a Masters of Divinity program yet not preparing to be a pastor is confusing.  I am also acutely aware that given current Church practice, women cannot be ordained to the priesthood.

But I’m also aware of something more.

I’m aware that God continues to call.  And I’m aware that God does not limit his or her calls.

I’m aware that I am here, that you are here, because God calls us to be here.

I’m aware that in this room, God is calling each and everyone of us to something unique, to be a fire that kindles other fires.

And if we listen, truly listen, we can hear God stirring in our midst at this very moment.

Now, you might be asking yourself, how on earth does this lady know that God is working in me?

Well, first of all, a call isn’t necessarily the booming voice of God telling us what to do.

I know that God is calling you because I’ve seen it.

I saw in yesterday in the students who spoke about their experience in El Salvador.  I saw it this morning in sleep deprived people piling out of the hotel into this room. 

And I’ve seen it in my own life.

I have been called to study theology at the wonderful Jesuit School of Theology at Berkeley.  And let me tell you, if you would have asked me 5 years ago if I thought I’d end up at a theology school, I would have told you that I had no idea what that was.  Throughout my studies, I’ve continually asked myself exactly what it means to be a female lay minister in the Church.

It means collaboration with my Jesuit brothers who are preparing for ordination.

It also means being told that I do not work as hard or am not as important as priests.  It means coping with this rejection.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that far outweighing the struggles are the joys. 

Preaching at a Eucharistic celebration is an exhilarating experience. 

Sharing conversations about why we traveled all the way down to Georgia and feeling the presence of God in our midst continues to give me chills. 

And being here with the Ignatian Family continues to be one of the most inspiring experiences I could imagine.

As we gather together, we talk a lot about people who have gone before us. 

Well, I’ve got news for you. 

Women who inspire me, women like, Ita, Dorothy, Jean and Maura. 

They were called to vocations of justice, and so are we. 

Ignacio, Segundo, Elba, Celina, Amando, Nacho, Joaquin and Juan were called to vocations of justice, and so are we.

God is an equal opportunity recruiter--- and calls all of us, regardless of whether we think we are good enough or holy enough or even want to hear it. 

It may not be a call like we expect, but I guarantee the One who called Mary and Jeremiah and Peter is stirring in you in a way that only you can recognize.

God continues to call each and every one of us.  Men and women.  Lay and ordained.  All ages.  All nationalities.  All types.

God is calling each and everyone of us to something unique.

God is calling each of us to be a fire that kindles other fires.

God is calling you to be a fire that kindles other fires

Everything Is Yours: Essay in America Magazine

The October 28 issue of America Magazine is easily one of their best.  I do not say that because I am in it, I promise.  "Women in the Life of the Church" features all-female writers and topics important to women.  In my opinion, it is the best work that has been done in the church regarding women and the church.

I was honored to write, "Everything Is Yours: Self-gift as a framework for ministry."

The entire issue is worth reading.  In particular, I recommend "Conscience of America," in which the editors reflect upon women in the magazine and how this issue came about.

Struggles with Solidarity

Solidarity.
It is a tenet of Catholic Social Teaching that calls us to be connected to people throughout the world, especially those suffering.

For me, there are few words more powerful, yet also few words more cliché.

When I was in college, we threw around this word for everything. If I’m being honest, I’ll admit that when we wanted to make something sound good, we just threw in the word “solidarity” and knew that the inclusion of this buzzword would get us whatever we wanted- whether it was funding for a spring break trip or approval for any number of activities.

In Paul’s Letter to the Colossians, I am struck by his description of community, for it is really a description of solidarity. Listen to this:

For I want you to know how great a struggle I am having for you
and for those in Laodicea
and all who have not seen me face to face,
that their hearts may be encouraged
as they are brought together in love,

I mean, it is practically a definition of solidarity.

When I hear this passage, immediately a question comes to my mind,

“Am I struggling for anyone who I have not seen face to face?”
or, asked in another way,
“Am I in solidarity with anyone?”

And the answer to this is hard for me to admit:
If I’m being generous, then I’ll respond “not as much as I should.”
But if I’m being honest, the actual answer is “no”

And here’s how I know at my core, that the actual answer is no:
Immediately, as soon as I ask myself “am I in solidarity with anyone,” people jump to my mind, people who I know God is calling me to be in solidarity with. I know this is from God, because it is so close to my heart. I don’t even have to search my mind for it: as soon as I ask myself this question, the people of Syria are on my heart and mind.

Life has been crazy for me recently. The months of August and September in Student Affairs are so busy that it's hard to keep up with daily activities, let alone look at big world issues.

But this busy lifestyle, well, it’s only an excuse for not living a life of solidarity. We put our time to what we value, and I have not prioritized solidarity as something worthy of my time or energy.

So, why am I making this public confession?
It’s not because I want to feel sorry for myself, or beat myself up
Rather, I’m going out on a limb and thinking that some of you might struggle with this too.

Balancing all of the demands that come with life in a college is difficult as it is. Opening up the question of solidarity can be overwhelming. I mean, there are so many issues in the world, so many people suffering, how do we even begin to care for others? It seems impossible, right?

But, here’s what I know:
God does not call us to do everything.
That does not mean that we are off the hook.
God calls us to do something, and to do that well.

And here’s where solidarity comes in:
God calls us to do this with one another, but also importantly, for one another.

Solidarity is realizing that my struggles are not the only struggles in the world.
It is recognizing that there is a connection between myself and people in Syria who I have never met and likely will never meet.

And this connection is God.

Our call in this is to listen to God in our lives:
Where is God calling you?
With whom is God calling you?
For whom is God calling you?

While I cannot say for certain what God is calling you to do, there are two things of which I am sure
1) God is in fact working in your life
2) This call is communal, that is, God is calling you through other people and FOR other people

This call to solidarity does not mean that I need to quit my job and move to Syria. In fact, that’s probably a bad idea all around.

But here’s what it does mean:
I need to listen to God in my life
I need to respond to God in my life
I need to be aware of the struggles of others and ensure that they are not alone.
And finally, I need to act.

And that is the beauty of our God:
Through Jesus, we are united with others.
Through prayer, we ensure this community.
Just as Paul was joined with others in the early days of our Church, here we are, 2000 years later, called to do the same.

My prayer for all of us is that we can form a community, a local community, wherever you are, that is in solidarity with those throughout the world. And as we do this, may we avoid the trite meaning of the word, but instead focus on the call from Paul to the Colossians:
How can we be with those struggling throughout the world?

While I may not be certain of the answer, I am certain that God is calling us to be with one another- in solidarity.

This reflection is adapted from a Gospel Reflection delivered on September 9, 2013 at Lucernarium night prayer on Col 1:24-2:3

The Feast of the Transfiguration

Today marks the Feast of the Transfiguration.  This passage from the Gospels is one of my all-time favorites.  As someone who ministers in educational settings, each year I am hit with 1/4 of the community leaving with everyone saying, "Can't we just stay here, just like this, for forever?"  My response to this is to pray with the Transfiguration.Here is a portion of a Gospel Reflection I offered at the end of the school year at a high school.  Note:  the school was on a hill, hence the references to "on the hill"


So here, we have Peter, James and John on a mountain with Jesus.  And they have a beyond incredible experience!  I mean, Jesus is transfigured.  He turns white, there are bright lights everywhere, and then from a cloud comes the voice of God.  Talk about a great experience.

Peter then begs Jesus to let them stay on the mountain. I have to say, I totally identify with Peter in this moment.  Here they are, on this beautiful hill, having a wonderful experience, and then it has to end.  

Haven't many of us felt this way about leaving this hill?  Right when it is getting really good, when we have it all figured out and are enjoying ourselves, Jesus tells us it is time to leave.

But looking at it this way is missing the point. The whole purpose of the transfiguration is not what happens on the hill---- it's what happens after the experience on the hill.         

The whole purpose of this high school isn't what happens on this hill.  It's what happens after the experience on the hill.

Isn't that what faith, integrity and truth are all about? These aren't values that matter only on the hill. In fact, they are values that matter the most once we leave this hill. 

What happened to the disciples in the transfiguration was transformative.  This year has been transformative for me.  I imagine it’s been transformative for many of you too. 

Jesus calls us to look at what this transformation means for us. Seniors, now that you are leaving, what does living a life of faith, integrity and truth mean for you?  How will you allow yourself to be shaped by the friendships with your classmates?  How will you continue to see God around you once you leave the hill?  This is the true question of the transfiguration.         
           How will you continue to see God around you?

And this message doesn't just apply to the seniors.  It applies to all of us--- how will we as the FSHA community continue to see God around us?  
How will we continue to experience God? 
How will we continue to be a community that is FIT--- a community of faith, integrity and truth? 
The good news is that there are endless replies to this question.

We all have this community to support us, a community that continues to show us God’s love.

 This community will continue to love and support all of us as we respond to Jesus’ call and journey down the hill. We’ve all been transformed while at this school.  The question that lies before us today is what we will do with this transformation.

When the Finite Meets the Infinite

TED Talks are awesome.  We can all agree on that.  This one, however, takes the cake.  Susan Haarman is a campus minister, IronMan and my best friend.  She recently gave a TED Talk at the TedxLUC conference.  Her topic:  When the Finite Meets the Infinite: Spirituality in Endurance Sports.

It's 19 minutes of your life, and I promise, whether you are an athlete or not, it will make an impact.  "Endurance can actually help us brush up against the infinite, and when that happens, we are able to live more authentically and more deeply."  Check it out.

Liturgy on Fire- Literally

Earlier this week, I preached at Lucernarium*, a night prayer liturgy.  Joining this liturgy in this capacity is always an honor.  The liturgy is planned by students, yet it is also led by students in the role of the presider and cantor.

This particular service was one that by all external measures went awry, but from my perspective, was pretty incredible.

For starters, I was
incredibly frazzled.  To say that my day was crazy was a huge understatement.  Easily one of my Top 10 hardest days ever.  I arrived much later than I would have liked, and definitely not in the mindset that I would like.

Still, we began the liturgy with a sense of peace.  The cantor, presider and myself lit our candles and began the prayer service.  In the middle of the responsorial psalm, I smelt burning.  A lot of burning.  Not just a little spark, but something was on fire.  I looked next to me and the paper wax catcher was on fire.  Not just a little fire, but really, the whole thing was consumed.

As my liturgy training has engrained in me, we addressed the issue (my pet peeve is when people pretend something didn't happen, when it obviously did), the Rector assisted by grabbing the candle and taking it to the sacristy.  I tried to step on the smoldering paper on the floor of the chapel, praying that my TOMS did not catch fire as well.  We appeared to be in the clear.

Then the lector got up to read the first reading, on which I had prepared my sermon: Isaiah 7. This was the Solemnity of the Annunciation and I was ready to relate Isaiah, Mary and the students' lives.  Only the lector did not read this reading (it was set to the daily reading, not the Solemnity).  My internal monologue went something like this:

Um, this is the Acts of the Apostles, not Isaiah.  My entire reflection is on Isaiah.  ENTIRE.  It's ok, I'll just preach on the Acts instead.  But I don't know what this reading is about.  I need to listen.  OH NO. I keep freaking out instead of listening.  Listen, Annie, listen.  AHHHH.  THE READING IS OVER.  I'm up NOW.

So, for the first time in my life, I preached off-script.

I am typically quite attached to my paper when I preach.  I tend to be an external processor, which is not a good trait of a preacher, so I tend to stick to the script pretty strictly.  But here, I had no choice.  And honestly (and to no surprise to other preachers out there), I think what I said was much more suited to the community than my prepared remarks.  It was truly a sense of the Holy Spirit guiding me.

From an outsiders point of view, this liturgy was probably a bit of a mess.  But from the inside, it was an incredible experience of people gathering together, somewhat clumsily, to worship God together.  And isn't that what liturgy is all about?  The work of the people, when done authentically, has an inherent element of clumsiness.  We didn't let the desire for perfection overpower what we were there for: praising God as a community.

*If you want a sense of Lucernarium, I recommend this video of Luce at Moreau Seminary.

Catholic Conversations: The Young Faithful on the Papacy

Last week, I had the incredible opportunity to speak with Amy Eddings of WNYC's All Things Considered regarding the future of the papacy.  It was truly a bucket-list item (or my equivalent, 30 before 30).  I was joined on the call by Brandon Vogt, a blogger who is quite prolific and worth a look if you don't know him already.

More than anything, it was an opportunity to take a step back and reflect on the future of the Church in this time of transition, as well as to get into some of the nuances.

You can find the full interview on WNYC's website by clicking here.  Or, you can also listen to it below.  It's just 5 minutes of your time!

Insights on Freedom: Flannery O'Connor

One of the recurring themes of the negative comments on my Washington Post op-ed are that I am a relativist, which in reality, could not be farther from the truth.  However, I think one of the most obnoxious things in blogs is when the writer defends himself against anonymous critics.  Instead, I thought the words of Flannery O'Connor shed some insight on the situation.

"Even in the life of a Christian, faith rises and falls like the tides of an invisible sea. It's there, even when you can't see it or feel it, if you want it to be there. You realize, I think, that it is more valuable, more mysterious, altogether more immense than anything you can learn or decide upon in college. Learn what you can and cultivate Christian skepticism. It will keep you free - not free to do anything you please, but free to be formed by something larger than your own intellect."
-Flannery O'Connor, writing to a college student.

Washington Post: The Church Young Catholics Want

My blog was featured in the Washington Post!  Check it out:  The Church Young Catholics Want.

In the coming days, I'll share my thoughts on the process of writing this blog and of course, reading the comments.  Just letting it all sink in for now...